These are the topics described in each chapter of the A2Z Bipolar book.

Obsessional Thoughts

For me, this (alongside the battle to find the right medication dosage) is the worst part of bipolar. The absolute inability (still) to calm my thoughts down. I can go whole days where I obsess over one thing or comment. Analysing an action or a statement again and again which is exhausting. Thankfully this is…

Order

In order to feel slightly peaceful, I have to have order in my life. When things start moving out of my control then I become overwhelmed and start to panic. At its worse this can cause a relapse. The simplest example, which I explain in greater detail under Triggers, is the state of the home.…

Neighbours

I would like to apologise to my neighbours who I offended during my drinking days. What started off as a quick visit to borrow a cigarette became much more disruptive. I would often go to my neighbours’ houses late at night and wake them up in a bid for more alcohol and manic interaction. I…

Noise

Sometimes my head is so busy that any noise at all causes great discomfort. In mania, I particularly like loud music. In a low mood I cannot even tolerate the sound of the television or indeed any music. I want total silence, which is not realistic. A slamming door or someone creeping up (intentionally or…

Nerve Endings

I think by now most of us will have heard that the brain is one of the least understood organs in the body. Neurotransmitters are hormone-like chemicals which send signals to all parts of the nervous system. I lived with a buzzing head for years. It feels as if there are electric shocks going off…

Memory

I have lost it ! I will walk into the kitchen and simply not know why I am in there. My brain feels like goo a lot of the time. Not only is my short term memory poor but my long term memory also seems to be flawed. I find it troubling and try not…

Music

Music affects me greatly. I am not alone in this but some people with bipolar have to be careful, as music is another stimulant. Quite often I feel the need for excessively loud music especially when I am on the treadmill and especially in the car. When I see people perform (especially my daughter) to…

Money

Where there are money issues there is always potential for conflict. This has fuelled the agitation in me more than any other area. I simply cannot stand not having enough money and often breath a sigh of relief when my card is not rejected in the supermarket. Since I became ill, my ex and I…

Medication v Meditation

I think I am one of the relatively few people who doesn’t mind having to take medication for their bipolar. Of course I would rather not have a nightly Nutella binge due to the side effects but – for the most part, now that the nightmare of finding the right tablet/dosage seems to have been…

Miscarriage

Writing the book has brought back a lot of unpleasant and troubling memories, one of the most significant being my miscarriage. Before I start, I acknowledge that miscarriages are common and that it is not some tragedy specific to me, so it may come across as being very self-indulgent. I have discussed miscarriage with my…