It’s difficult to know where to start and the full story of my (limited) relationship with my father is explained in detail in the book. One reason for writing this section is to highlight the genetic link and how I have undoubtedly inherited bi-polar from my father.
I think I last saw my father around 1994 at his own father’s funeral. There were a few very sad occasions subsequently when he would arrive in a pitiful state at the door in a bid to get his feet back under the table, but by then Mum, my brother and I had become our own tight knit unit and under no circumstances was he going to break back into it.
There is no doubt that my crippling anxiety must stem in some way from the memory of two frightened children sitting at the top of the stairs every night waiting for the arguing and drinking to stop and for him to pass out. As the eldest, I was also deeply protective of my divine funny little younger brother and we were both desperately worried for my Mum’s safety, our own safety and yes, the safety of my father. It is a miracle to me that he has survived so long.
An extensive explanation of this relationship and its link to my condition can be found in the book and you don’t need to be a rocket scientist to guess that history was going to repeat itself in one form or another.