An episode – or let’s say relapse – is when the symptoms of mania and/or depression (in my case they can be concurrent as I suffer from rapid cycling or mixed states) worsen or are exaggerated to a worrying level. For me this means I can be extremely irritable, hypersensitive to thoughts, perceived criticism, sunlight, and noise. I am absolutely overwhelmed to the point of not functioning properly and generally quite hopeless. In the very back of my mind I can tell myself that it will pass once I have rested for a few days (resting in itself is the best cure for relapse but I just feel even more annoyed and disappointed in myself when I can’t function properly). But it is always terrifying when an episode occurs. Even more so after a long period of ‘’stability’’ as it comes as a timely reminder that this disease is for the long haul and not to be disrespected. For others, heightened mania can cause all sorts of problems and in the past I usually ended up in trouble after a manic induced drinking binge…

You can find more information on my first hospital admission in the full version of my book.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Post comment